The Goddess & The HalfBreed
by quinnofhearts
Summary: Three years after NFA Illyria and Spike are working out their feelings for one another. Slow burn as of now.


**So I watched Angel when I was a kid. And i started watchinf it again. Illyria has always been my fav! sadly not many Eps but I love her and spike so I wrote this tell me what you think! Hopefully its not Bloody Awful! (see what I did there! hehe im so lame) ENJOY! **

The fight was over. Apocalypse defeated but not without a price. Friends were lost, and innocents killed.

It has been three years since that. Spike and Illyria survived. Both were washed clean of their fighting spirit after the death and carnage and left to try to find something else to live for. And soon enough they found each other.

Illyria stood in front of the window the midnight moon reflecting the blue of her. She watched carefully as her pet slept. He was peaceful, and he felt safe. She noted to herself happily. It hadn't been that long since the night she thought she was alone. At least not to a being as old as herself.

Remembering the long night Illyria unintentional wonder in her head what she would do if Spike died. Rule the world? No that wouldn't do she concluded. Destroy it? After all, he has done to save it? No that wasn't right either. Leave? To be forever alone? Go back to her coffin? To be awoken and expected to rule? No. I simply couldn't exist. She thought as a fact.

Die. Yes, die. She agreed. Spike had become her world, her reason without him she simply didn't want to live. She had seen many movies with the same ending she was thinking of. It was common for humans to end their lives when their true love dies. But she wasn't human and neither was her half breed. And true love wasn't something she believed in.

And yet it would be a humans death she would choose. Next came the thoughts of how. How would she do it? How soon after? Obviously, she would kill all who had a part in her pets death first.

Spike rolled on his side watching the blue goddess with his sleepy eyes. She was obviously deep in thought he noticed. He wonders how long she had been standing there. He remembered falling asleep to her looking out the very window she still stood in front of. Now though she was faced towards him leaning against the window with her eyes shut.

To have five minutes in that head of hers. Spike mused to himself. He stood still watching Illyria careful. For as powerful as he knew she was she just seemed so breakable in his eyes.

"Love" His voice was gentle as he softly placed both his hands on her waist.

Spike was sure if he spoke to harsh, or touched her to roughly she would crumble under his fingertips.

Her blue eyes shot open and stared at him unapologetically. She could sense his gentle nature and she always wondered why he acted this way whenever she was quiet or gone for what he considered a long time.

"Show me your face" Illyria commanded in her natural monotone voice.

It wasn't the first time she has asked this of Spike. Without any more words, he let go of his human face and changed to his vampire form. He has long since been bothered by the sight be he still wonders why she requested to see a face she use to tell him was disgusting.

"This what you want Blue?" He asked still sounding gentle to the powerful goddess.

"Yes." She answered the question.

She eyed his demon form. She thought back to the countless half breeds that ruled under her. The countless she killed. What made him different? She wondered the same question she's been wondering for a long time. Once she would have said she thought he was ugly now she found this face as handsome as his human face. She let her right-hand lift to his face touching his skin. He fascinated her. Her pet.

Spike stood there still. He stared back at her his thoughts speeding around in his head. And when she lifted her hand to feel him he reacted by closing his eyes. She was soft, and he breathed her in. Once he thought she had no smell but now after three years, and after countless times she bled he found it. And it was in intoxicating to him. Spike refused to open his eyes. Sure of himself that if he did she would disappear.

"Illyria" it was a whisper but she heard her name on his lips.

She knew by now why she felt a tightening in her chest when he said her name the way a worshipper would. However, knowing what it is, is not the same as knowing what to do.

"You've had many lovers" She said as any woman would. Trying to state a fact but being eaten up by jealousy. Illyria didn't know why that was the question she choose to ask.

She moved away from him pacing as she stared awaiting an answer. And at the same moment, his eyes opened and felt his heart quicken. Spike was not liking where this conversation was going.

"For as long as I've been alive I would say no."

"How many?" Again jealousy could be heard even though it was obviously being covered up.

"4" He answered easily covering up his worry. "What about you Blue?"

Spike hopped on to the dresser staring carefully at the pacing goddess. His fear disappeared and was replaced with joy. Joy at the fact she was panicking over ex-girlfriends of his.

"I have had no equal" Illyria was angry to answer though she didn't know why.

Spike could sense her uneasiness and decided now wasn't the time to push her. He hopped off the dresser and walked over to the worried Goddess. He changed his face back to his human form knowing now wasn't the time for big bad vampire spike.

"What were you thinking about while I was sleeping?" He asked wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her stopping her pacing.

"What I would do if you died." She answered.

Spike scrunched his forehead shocked but not letting his feelings getting in the way of the conversation.

"And what would you do?" He asked lightheartedly not expecting much from the cold god, king.

"I would kill all involved. And then I would kill myself." Illyria answered. She was proud to tell him how she would kill his murderers but when she answered what she would do to herself she became quieter afraid of what he might say. She hated how human she was becoming.

In his shock spike let the go of the goddess. Kill everyone, sure. He thought. Kill yourself? That's where he was lost. He actually thought she would say something off-putting about him being a half breed. He was even more shocked when she turned to him her blue eyes searching his own.

"Why would you do that, love?" He asked concerned naturally grabbing hold of her.

She tilted her head to the right. Suddenly a thought she wanted to be answered now came into her head.

"What would you do?" She asked him. "If the impossible were to happen? If I were to die?" She eyed spike very careful waiting to see if he worshipped her or not.

"I... I" spike looked confused. She realized then he had never thought about. Though to her surprise he found his answer nonetheless. "I would find a way to bring you back"

"And if you couldn't?" She challenged.

"Then I would die trying. Nothing left to live for if you ask me" he said nonchalantly.

Though spike thought this whole conversation was nothing casual he didn't know if he could show her any real emotions without hurting himself. He knew after these three years he came to really need her but how to act on that was something he didn't know how to do.

"Then we are agreed" she nodded going back to the same window she was in front of before.

"Seems so" spike nodded gleefully as he plopped back down on the bed.

He laid down both hands under his head as he watched her look out the window. The moonlight bouncing off of her. If she wasn't a goddess he would say she should be. Beautiful. He thought.

"I'm going to go back to bed love" He informed her.

"Goodnight my pet" she said in Spikes opinion sweetly in anyone else's they would say coldly. Spike, on the other hand, became very good at hearing the small changes of tone and took great comfort in knowing them.

Once she knew he was asleep again she turned to stare at him. Back at Wolfram & heart, she would have stared freely if she wanted but now she felt shy almost around Spike. Illyria let her mind wander.

Forever. We have forever. Will it always be this distance or will infinity break this uncomfortable distance? She wondered as she watched him sleep. It wasn't as simple as school girls thoughts but Illyria still day dreamt of forever nonetheless. In the end, the daydream always ended with spike holding her the way he had done just before her confession.

With dreams running wild in her head Illyria closed the distance between her and her pet and sat down next to him still just watching.

"Forever." She said aloud.

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